Ok, so after trying all sorts of annoying tasks and setups, I found out that the only documentation the first level techs have for setting up a modem/router combo is specificlly for ATT's 2wire unit. I bought two from ATT and they both died, so I decided to try out an aftermarket unit from frys. I got a TP-Link w8961ND unit, that worked great for my internet. But the airave wouldn't work after that.
Since it is a modem and a router I can't really put the Airrave in front of it, so i had to figure out a workaround. I got my tech to tell me the process for getting the airave setup for the 2wire to translate into my router.
You actually have to start in the Airave. (I had the airrave going to my modem router via the wan port, and my computer plugged into the airrave LAN port for the following)
*directly plugin the airrave to your computer, in a browser type 192.168.17.1
*click the "setup" on the left
*enter the following values
-ip address 192.168.1.140 (it is a possiblity your this will be out of your router's dchp range, so you can try something else, it is what you are asking it to be)
-ip subnet mask 255.255.255.0
-gateway ip address 192.168.1.254 (for the 2wire. my router is set to 192.168.1.1 so that is what I used here, you may need to adjust)
Domain name server (this is where the magic seemed to be, thee values)
Primary DNS 188.8.131.52
Secondary DNS 184.108.40.206
*You should be done with the airrave setup, so you can dissconnect the computer from the airave
I also did a fair amount of setup in the router combo beforehand that i have no idea if it helped, but in case that alone doesn't do it, try this as well.
I added the ip address of the airrave to my DMZ in my router modem combo.
(This is where it gets weird, I told the airave to be 192.168.1.140 in it's stup, but the router still sees it as 192.168.1.4. Probably because the 140 was out of range, so I told my DMZ to be 192.168.1.4)
I also opened the ports they ask for, 5060, 500, 4500, 52428.
Hopefully this helps someone else.
here is where I found instruction for my router specifically to open ports (it was for xbox live, but you can translate the area to input the ports)
Wow! Thank you for the detailed info, I hope that it helps anyone in a similar situation. Please don't hesitate to share any other great tips/tricks you may have. As well, don't hesitate to rely on me for any questions, comments, or concerns you may have.
I just plugged in Airaves behind the router. Turn them on and they work.
The router assigns an IP address automatically with DHCP and I haven't had to make any special settings to modem, router, or Airave.